After hearing from many of Down’s users and having some escapades of my own, here are the 3 simple steps to a successful hookup.
This is your quick guide on the etiquette of hookups. For my sake and the sake of your future partners, mind these rules!
1. Be Flexible.
Pick a rendezvous location that’s convenient for the other participant(s).
Provide a few days/times that work for you.
Go with the flow and read the mood — if it’s more natural to grab drinks at a few bars before getting intimate, seize the opportunity to build sexual tension!
And don’t forget your pocket full of horses — bring your own protection so that you are ready wherever the mood strikes.
2. Be A Gentleman Or Gentlewoman.
Even though you suspect you’ll be flying to Bangville, don’t forget to pack your manners! Treat each other with respect and as an equal partner in this sexy adventure.
It starts with using respectful language when you first start chatting (don’t jump right to sexual comments).
Show a genuine interest in getting to know your potential hookup; the sexual chemistry and excitement is so much more enjoyable when you appreciate each other as more than sweaty bodies!
Trade some witty banter and bond over common interests (my favorite is karaoke).
“Every time I meet a woman who is shy about her beautiful amusement parts stemming from remarks from some douche-nozzle, I wish nothing but involuntary celibacy upon him.”
Now that things are heating up and everyone’s consenting, light the fire and put his or her pleasure first. Foreplay is key to everyone leaving with smiles! From what I’ve heard and experienced, there are a lot of you selfish mofos out there from both genders. Quit your bullshit — show your appreciation for their efforts and reciprocate.
Finally, for the love of all things sexy, don’t criticize anyone’s looks, smell, size, or technique! Instead, politely voice your preferences and use positive coaching. Every time I meet a woman who is shy about her beautiful amusement parts stemming from remarks from some douche-nozzle, I wish nothing but involuntary celibacy upon him.
3. Be Honest.
Honesty is extremely liberating. If you’re only looking for something super casual, just fucking say so. If you’re hoping for more commitment, you’ve got to talk about it (don’t assume someone’s exclusive with you without having “the talk”). As things progress, be honest about your feelings, as muddled as they may be.
Just as importantly, be forthcoming and honest with your partner(s) about safe sex and diseases. Ask when they were last tested and share your own status. If the condom broke, came off, or (gasp!) never made it on in the first place, clearly discuss emergency contraception or other next steps for successful hookup. Yes, real adults actually have these potentially awkward conversations instead of ignoring the dangers or hiding the truth from their partner(s)!
If you liked what you read, be sure to ❤ this post — it means a lot to me!
-Colin